Late Night Confessions 9/5/2010

I have a confession to make.... last night I went in to check on TJ, he was sound asleep and looked so cute that I just had to stare at him.  I stared and fell in love all over again.  I mean he is so perfect and adorable and the complete love of my life (along with my loving husband).  I couldn't resist, so I picked him up (I know the golden rule of parenting "let sleeping dogs lie", but I couldn't help myself) and got in the glider and rocked with him.  I rocked and kissed his head and rocked and all of the sudden I was crying.
Being a mom had made me much more emotional than I have ever been in my life.  Every time there is a story on the news about a child hurt or missing, I have to turn the television off.  I can not stomach hearing about children being hurt.  At school, I am much more aware that the kids I teach are somebodies TJ and I have become a more patient teacher because of it.  On the flip side, I also find myself a little resentful that I spend more time with other peoples children than my own.  Which brings me back to last nights confession.
I have such little time to spend with TJ once school started.  We love his daycare and they are wonderful with him, but sometimes I feel like a failure when it comes to being a mom.  What kinda mom spends 10 hours with other people's children and only 2 with her own?  Being a working mom is so difficult.  So while I know I shouldn't sacrifice TJ's sleeping for my own neediness, I did it anyways.  And guess what... I would do it again.
P.S.  Yes, that is a diaper on my head.  It was full of ice, I was so hot after my cesarean section that the student nurse got me a diaper full of ice and put it on my head.  Still not sure why they just didn't give me an ice pack as I am confident they have those at the hospital, but  oh well.

Recovery & the First Two Weeks 5/22/2012

I promised a birth story, so here it goes. It really isn't that dramatic. We had a scheduled c-section for May 9th at noon and she was born at 12:15. I never felt a contraction or went into labor. I got an IV went into the operating room, got my spinal, and then she was born! This was my third surgery so there was a lot of scar tissue they had to get through, but other than that, it was pretty routine and went really well. She weighed 7 pounds 7 ounces and was 20 inches long. We named her Caroline Jayne. Caroline is the only name that my husband and I could agree on. I had a Caroline in one of my classes a few years ago and fell in love with her. She has a bubbly personality that I wanted my child to have as well. I also loved her name. It is classic, yet you don't hear it every where. Jayne is my middle name and I am named after my paternal grandmother's maiden name. I am very glad that the name remains in my family. When we found out she was actually a girl and not a boy, we agreed upon the middle name. Baby C or BC as I will refer to her here at AMomsImpression has been a very "easy" baby. She doesn't really cry that much, she eats great, and last night I only had to get up to feed her once. We took her to her newborn appointment at the pediatrician's office yesterday and here are her vitals: Weight: 7 pounds 6 ounces (almost back to her birth weight) 27% Percentile Length: 20 inches 42% Percentile Head: 35 cm 30% Percentile So, for right now she is small, but perfect! Recovery is going okay. To be completely honest, the first week was not fun at all. I am now off of my meds and only taking Tylenol. The worst part is that I had an allergic reaction to the surgery dressing thingy that they put over you during surgery (of course). I have a very large, rectangular shaped area on my body that is a giant rash. I have been covering myself with hydrocortisone cream, but it is still painful and it itches like crazy! Most of you know that TJ and I suffer from extremely sensitive skin, so this doesn't come as a surprise, but it didn't happen the other two times so I wasn't prepared for this. I guess in a way it is good because it has distracted me from the scar across my abdomen. I am adjusting to life with two children. We pulled TJ out of daycare last week, and my parents were in town so they were able to spend some time with him. They left to go back to Idaho on Tuesday. My husband was able to spend all of last week at home with us. He had to go back yesterday. I survived my first day at home with two kids. Actually, I didn't just survive, I made it to BC's doctor's appointment and we went grocery shopping! I felt very accomplished, yet exhausted. Here are some random pictures from BC's first two weeks: